The poem of sadness
Fresh Air host Terry Gross interviewing Emily Rapp, author of 'The Still Point of the Turning World.'
Emily Rapp was my instructor for a Gotham Writer's Workshop creative writing class I took last year.
Her name seemed familiar; when I googled it, I discovered I'd read her essay at work.
It's hard reading, as I imagine this book will be. It's also hard to listen to her talk; it's something beyond sad.
You can listen to the entire interview and read excerpts on the Fresh Air site here.
This quote, the hardest for me. Maybe the most true:
"This is such a hard thing to explain to someone who hasn't been through it, but when Ronan got his terminal diagnosis, that was the day for me that he died. That was the day of his death for me was Jan. 10, 2011. Not to say that I didn't enjoy being with him through his life, but I felt — I think — the full weight of that loss on the day that he was diagnosed, and when he did die I was relieved that he was released from his suffering, and so that grief is different than it was. It's just, it's qualitatively different, and not that it's not still devastating. It was devastating to watch somebody deteriorating, too, and to know that you couldn't stop it and to worry that there would be more suffering and wanting so deeply to spare him that. ... For me that first year was really the worst, because watching him change and all the hopes kind of dashed and sprinting to the end at the beginning was how I grieved."